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Damn-got a little feeling sorry for myself last night. Left work with an alright frame of mind then jammed to some GWAR for a bit. Made me miss my bass. Then I got sad about family and friend matters. I took Jessika off my contacts cuz I'm still mad about her shit. Hopefully, she doesn't call for a long time if ever. She questions me about my story about my past like I'm lying about shit! All I do is listen to her all the time about her damn problems-that's fine-I don't mind, but act like I don't have anything worth for her to listen to? That just infuriating, because I owe her or soemthing! No wonder she is always having relationship troubles! Rant! Rant! I hardly have anything in common with her-she likes top 40-mainstream crap music and I like crazy-silly-punk metal! She is wayyy too dominating. Plus she always has some drama where she has to rant about how her man needs to do this and that and fight for her. Arg! How lame. And "o-I never cry" and everytime I fucking see her she is crying! ( jibber jabber )
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I should really get a grip on life. I get so annoyed at work sometimes. They keep changin shit around that makes shit more annoying than workable. The lady in charge of all the changes is some rich bitch that had her last resteraunt closed down. I was hoping she'd be on maternity leave alot longer. Now she walks around w/ her infant strapped to the front of her all day and all I see the baby do is sleep. I hope she plays w/ the baby in the office at least. And I gave up my baby? ( my baby's daddy )
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I've always had trouble w/ my self-esteem, probably because of the way I was raised. My folks liked to make fun of me and point out my flaws more than being positive. They often fought and were very violent and the mean yelling about us kids. Then one would leave or my mom would go to the hospital and I was left to think it was my fault. Don't know why I'm going into all this, I guess this is what lj is for. ( more issues )
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crazy
gloomy