WOWEEET!

So what fuckin shit bag dildo muthafuckin assholes! Forget everyfucking thing! Everyones fucking cyber life here is so fucking coosh! Ya fucking pussies! Including myself! Ya got all this shit and ya still got problems! What about yer fucking mommies and daddies they didn't have this shit! They had to work to make it happen-or help it happen! What about those poor souls in Hiati!? What about those poor assholes up north? They're freezing their fucking asses off! ha! Ha! so I bitch evry fucking day because I bust my butt at work and people are fucking texting and being little bitches! And I blame it on myself cuz I FUCKING SUCK! BECAUSE I"M FUCKING OLD! Would it solve anything that I bitch at them? Or what If I WHACK! them across the fucking head like my parents did? Fucking piss-ass spoilt rottin KIDS! I HATE THEM! I HATE ALL FUCKING HUMANS!!!! They want respect they don't fucking know! O great-now I sound like one of those old fucking vietnam vets! Well, where's the fucking fine line between doing evrything for someone to make their dumb-ass happy and being takin' advantage of? I hate people! They fucking suck! I try to be fair at my fucking job about shit and be understanding and I get stomped on like a fucking shit bag! Then I'm afraid of certain assholes because I do my job? I don't care if I get fired! Everyone seems to fucking come down on me and I try my damnedest! I just have a hard time being miss fucking jibber-jabber! And I wonder why the fuck I drink! It's fucking ass enough that I even fucking try for anyone! WHY? O well-the way of the fucking world-I'm not fired, yet. Ass=knows those fuckers want me to fucking go off and get fired because they are fucking pissing lil shit bag kids that wanna fucking shit on evryone! "O-the world owes me because i'm so fucking dildo-ass fucking great!"
On another note-something wayyyyy cooler! At least I've gotten to see these assholes a couple times! HA!

Damn-got a little feeling sorry for myself last night. Left work with an alright frame of mind then jammed to some GWAR for a bit. Made me miss my bass. Then I got sad about family and friend matters. I took Jessika off my contacts cuz I'm still mad about her shit. Hopefully, she doesn't call for a long time if ever. She questions me about my story about my past like I'm lying about shit! All I do is listen to her all the time about her damn problems-that's fine-I don't mind, but act like I don't have anything worth for her to listen to? That just infuriating, because I owe her or soemthing! No wonder she is always having relationship troubles! Rant! Rant! I hardly have anything in common with her-she likes top 40-mainstream crap music and I like crazy-silly-punk metal! She is wayyy too dominating. Plus she always has some drama where she has to rant about how her man needs to do this and that and fight for her. Arg! How lame. And "o-I never cry" and everytime I fucking see her she is crying!


( jibber jabber )

Nobody really just draws scum anymore-welll-ok-we got some of the "cum and be scum"-what am i talkin about? I'm talkin something that grabs. Do I do it? NO! I do a lot of shitty-sketchy-b/w raw crap. Nothing new-nothing fancy fuckin fuck-off pants! Ok-so gotta get into the designer fuckin school now because fuck-off's wanna be asswigs and shit bags like to be dildos. And why do I care? Cuz I gotta bitch about something! I know I aint never been nothing! Cut me down and chop off three more slices of my fuckin nothing pie! I waste a lot of time on here bitchin forever ands spelling shit wrong and getting fucking wasted! yay! I wanna become a twice known wastoid from hell-hopefully evrything-every wrong gets blamed on me because I lie so much! I fuckin cheat and I fuckin steal and I am nobody! I often wonder how I each day keep my great ass boyfriend!? And my job. How I can lie about my mother being a fatherless bitch-exactly like myself! Me and my mom are bastardettes(?). How do we live with ourselves? We don't know who our real fathers are. I've come to realize that people get horny and fuck and sometimes they don't give a fuck who in the fuck is their damn father! My grandma was hot and someone had to fuck her! That was back in the 1951's, right? Should I care who mom's dad was? Should I care who my real dad is? People FUCK! People create babies and that has happened for centuries! S0-I should be somne fuckin sort-of artist with the beatings and watching sex happen infront of me as a child, huh? Everyone wanting me to fucking foreget that I'm there! Fuck ya! What's the worst torture that I can imagine myself in? In prison with my fuckin pussy ripped off! I think I'll....

Got a bawfaw at the tawsaw. Wanna take it out and see what it can do?

I really don't.

Been a couple relaxing days, luckily. Well, I made them that way. Had to pass on the party lastnight and going downtown tonight. Was hang'n out all last week. It gets tiresome-especially when your approaching 40. I'm getting to the age where I should only hang-out a couple nights a week and the rest I should just draw-up comics, work on learning digital design, read, and spend time with my guinea pigs. If only it were that easy. Well, I gotta put my foot down this month if I wanna get ButtRagMag#8 out in bathroom stalls by March! I wanted to have 'Foragers' done by this week-so I can focus all my energy on BRM. Well, I got one more page done this week-which puts it at 10, but I need 7 more. If I do 2 2morrow and 2 on Monday-then Tuesday is the Residents show-2 more on wednesday and then 1 for Thursday-or I could just do 1 page each day-1/sun, 1/mon, 1/wed, and 2/Thurs, 2/friday=that sounds like a better plan. Or whatever happens-I would like to get may ass into doing little comics and I wanna get 'em going. I am tired of saying I'm gonna do so and don't. I know before I really didn't do much with drawings and any art because I have low self-esteem, plus I was doing too much partying and didn't give a shit about much. I tried the band thing and decided it really wasn't for me although I jamed out and had fun the other night. I can't completely give it up. I did say I was moving here to do music, but I really have a hard time working with other musicians or finding practice time and just plain time. With drawing I can be in my own head and see what's up. I love the brainstorm process. Nobody telling me what to do. Although, I wouldn't mind being in a total silly band if it so happened and everyone was real cool and calm and not on a powertrip or on shitloads of hardcore drugs!No, gotta focus on comics! It would be great if I could get one done per 2 months! I have a third idea for one that'll be porny gorey fun one. Wanna start on that soon-gotta think of a name for it. Deadlines do seem to work for me, unless something goes wrong. Gosh! I've blahed away!Time for bed-it's worky-work for me in tha morning. Hope it warms up a bit! This 29 degrees here has got to go. Hafta wear gloves to work outside in the morning-Baw!

Gotta love the covers! The art is always nice. I use to have a huge collection of them from the 80's and 90's. Well, they were a boyfriend's so he took them with. Debating on getting some issues and maybe a subscription, but I should really read what I got now-as far as books.
I just got my 'Answer Me!' the king of zinedom. I accidently got another one of the 'first three'thinking it was the "Rape" issue. That's cool tho-I can give my copy to exellent lady-Mel. She'll love it!

Hmmmm...I was also thinking of someday sending some art to Heavy Metal? I wanna come up with a fun, rauchy comic for them. I will never get any expectations though, because there is some really great artists out there. But I'll never know unless I do it. I gotta finish this Foragers and ButtRagMag first! Then this guy wants me to draw a picture of his wife getting assfucked by demons! Pretty crazy request-and the couple looks so normal-kinda scarey. I said I didn't want his wife to see it and wanna kill me, but he assured she wouldn't be mad. I'd get to doing it quicker if it was paying. LOL! Gonna just lay around and relax now-get to the Foragers in the morning! WeeeT!

When will I stop? Four days of working and drinking and going out and partying is getting to be too much! Monday-went to see Awesome Death and Pretty Pretty-that was fun! Tuesday-friends stop by and chill for a few hours-less beers, but still gotta entertain. Still fun tho-good company. Wed-we get asked to meet the gang at the Parlor for Pizza and more beer! Gosh there ended up being like 30 of us taking up the patio and people wouldn't stop getting pitchers! We were there like 5 hours. Then Thursday-I end up taking my old bartender from the Lady some grub because I said I would. He still likes to throw the shots infront of ya!He's a crazy man! I had gotten off work early and this all started at like 2pm. Pat came and got me and I drank water cuz I was fucked up by 5pm. Then we took off back to this apt and went to the neighbors and I started talking drunk talk-then we went to go jam out at a pals. I got a bllod blister from jamin the bass. I hadn't played in awhile. Still a bit depressed about my equipment, but I'm gonna take it down to shop here in the next week and see what they say. I'm gonna still get a new one here after SXSW. I should do my taxes. Anyway, got a little bit of anxiety today do to the drinking and gonna not drink for the next few days. I hurt. What'd I do after we jamed. O I grabbed some weird stick and called it my proboscus and started stabbing around in the grass and into the cool bonfire. Trying to suck, I guess-then climbing a mound of grassy dirt and then it starts poring rain and I'm dancing around poking the mound with my proboscis. What a weirdo I am! But Pat said I was being cute so that's ok.


Is this a friggin rediculous looking monkey or what? I found this when looking up 'proboscis'. Poor thing looks like a banana face ding dong.

Well, maybe I'll get some more drawing up on the Foragers done in the next few days. I got 8 more pages-including the cover. Gotta tell people I can't be partyin' everyday! Gotta get shit done! Gotta get a move on #8!
Damn-it just dropped like 20 degrees outside today! Friggin cold!

Ok-I've decided to post up this first image of Foragers for everyone to view. I'm still working on it-so this is NOT gonna be the final look. I just wanna see what it looks like up in computerland first-before I go back over it.


I've gotten 6 pages done so far. I wanna do another 3 tonight-I think I want it to be a total of 13 for the first issue-16 with the cover and all. I'm aiming to wanting to be done by mid Feb.. I am also gonna get on BRM #8 this week. Start drawing up the 'Bonerators' and seeing what is all gonna be in it and such. Compiling notes and stuff. This is like my fun second job! I'm kinda glad my real job has been slow so I can spend more time doing this. I really like it when I get a chance to do it. I can pace about drinking tea and conjuring up the stories and then go play with my guinea pigs for a bit-then come back and get on the drawing. This is fun! Why didn't I start doing this when I was younger? Because I was wingnutting out and being a party girl! That's cool though-ya gotta establish some connections while your out partying and some good supportive friends! Now I want to get hunkered down for the next month before the real job gets real busy with SXSW and I get to going to shows also. I'll be able to have a new BRM out to put in the bathrooms by then! yay! What will I do with the Foragers? At first I'll just have it up on etsy-give some to friends that are interested in it. It will be good to send to family cuz it's gonna be clean. ha! ha! Ya-I thought i'd do something with young-uns in mind. Something my nieces will be able to read. Then we'll see about sending it to a publisher-MAYBE-that's a big 'maybe' cuz I've never really done that before and I might just want to do it through the etsy and zine communities for awhile. I should try'n build my gallery up or whatnot. I kinda wish I still had all my stuff since when I was a kid. Of course, I had to go play minimalist and hitchhike and squat around the country. So-I got rid of everything. I've also thought of going to school to figure out how to have my own business of a publishing company or a bookstore-well, there are plenty of those. I've never worked at either and that might be a better way to start that. Well, I better get back on with my work! I'll never know anything unless I do it and get it out there to see what happens with it! I am not gonna have high expectations because I don't wanna be let down. Weet!